It’s that time of year again… “Cuffing Season”. Whether you spent all summer choosing between your star draft picks or maybe you just laid low and had fun. Either way, in the world of social media the start of fall means the start of relationships… Unless you’re me. Which means you just got out of relationship and you’re not sure where to go from here. It’s taken me a year to post this because I wanted to be sure I gave you good useful tips, you know what they say… “Practice what you preach” right? That being said, these are my actual tips in getting over a Break-Up. It won’t happen fast, trust me. But I know you’re strong and driven and can do anything you set your mind to!
1. Find a Hobby
Find something to get your mind off things and do it all the time. For me, it was shopping. I found a love for clothing that I never thought I had. Style became a way of expressing myself and going to the mall eased my mind and cheered me up most of the time. Once you find something you’re into do it as often as you can to keep yourself busy. This way you won’t feel as though you “need” that person to keep you company. It’s all about learning to be ok on your own.
2. Make New Friends
When my initial break-up happened I found myself at home constantly in front of the TV. This is the perfect opportunity to find friends with the same interests as you. If you’re in school join a club or go to events on campus. You’ll meet so many new people. Honestly, the hardest part is just going to be getting out of your comfort zone, but it’s for your own good! Trust me! Once you begin to surround yourself with good people you will begin to feel like yourself again and happiness won’t seem so far fetched.
3. Try Not to Sulk in Your Misery
Break-up’s are hard. Depending on how invested you were in the relationship, it could lead to depression and anxiety. These are some things I dealt with heavily. The best thing you can do is deal with pain but don’t let it eat you alive. Sulking and continuing to allow yourself to be taken over by the pain won’t make things any better. I’m not perfect and I can’t tell you how many months… yes months I sat around and allowed myself to feel worthless. In most cases the only thing you can do is let time heal your wounds and try your best to not let the heartache get to you.
4. Don’t Jump Head First Into Another Relationship
I can’t stress this tip enough! We all make the mistake of trying to fill the void from your last relationship with a new one. This does nothing but postpone the pain you haven’t yet dealt with. I thought I was making the right choices by getting to know/dating new people right off the bat, but I found myself looking for the attributes of my ex in these new guys. Which wasn’t smart. There’s a reason we are no longer together and I needed to let myself grow as an individual so that I would know exactly what I wanted and also what I had to offer the next man I dated. I advise you to keep that in mind when you find the next person you’re interested in.
5. Don’t Hold onto the Past
What’s done is done. There is no going back. You are broken up for a reason and it wouldn’t have come to this unless it was meant to be this way. Like with my last tip, holding onto the past does nothing but prolong the inevitable heartbreak. It has to happened and I know you’re probably terrified of the pain it could cause. I promise God has a plan for you and I am firm believer in God only putting you through things he knows you can handle. You have to keep telling yourself it was for the best and that you will find happiness. SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE! Don’t try to force yourself to love someone who you aren’t meant for, it’s not worth it. I held on for far too long and I can tell you, it’s not a good choice. You have to let yourself be free in order to grow.
These were just a few of my tips on how to get over a break-up. I hope you found them useful. Just remember time heals all. If you’re going through a break-up I can tell you it won’t be easy but once you get through it you will be so happy you did. I honestly haven’t been as happy as I am right at this moment in a long time.
Until next time
Keep defining yourself,